Just Another Way to Die
by TearsOnTheRiver
Summary: Pain I can handle. Misery and darkness, that's easy. This? This thing? It is slowly eating me alive, stripping away my soul, baring me clean. It feels good, but I know that it just makes me weaker, more vulnerable. Even though I know this, I'd still die for him, kill for him. Love, they call this thing 'love'. Extremely OOC and AU
1. Chapter 1

Pain I can handle. Misery and darkness, that's easy. This? This thing? It is slowly eating me alive, stripping away my soul, baring me clean. It feels good, but I know that it just makes me weaker, more vulnerable. Even though I know this, I'd still die for him, kill for him. Love, they call this thing 'love'.

"Don't hold me up now

I can stand my own ground

I don't need your help, now

You will let me down, down, down."

~Prayer of the Refugee. Rise Against

Chapter One; Dull

Mizu

Thump. Thump. Thump. Breathe. Breathe. Thump, thump, thump. Crack.

I'm sure the fingers in my right hand are broken, my nose too, properly. He swings again, an evil grin on his face. Bastard. I bring my hands up and try desperately to protect my face from further damage. The low light of the arena catches each bead of sweat and reflects back to me, I could use it against him if I wanted to. The thought is jarred from my head when a fist connects with my temple.

I crumple to the dirty matt floor. I can hear Getsu's laughter, but it's muted. So, so far away. I can't move, and I can't see. I know my eyes are open but they give me no vision.

Someone is lifting me up, and I resent that. The floor is no longer beneath me and the only things that stop me from fighting are my inability to move and I recognize the feel of the hands under my arms. They've cared for me before. It's my sister, **D****aichi. I don't know who long it takes her to drag me to the flat, or how see manages to hide us a second beating from Getsu. **

**I only know I am safe when I feel the cot beneath my back and Daichi putting something cold on my head and lifting me head to make me drink the Black Leaf tea. Not two minutes later I have the energy to swat Daichi's hand and I can a blurry version of her spiky black hair. Another second and my vision is clear.**

"Stop that, Daichi. Tend to your own wounds." She scowls as I sit up and poke my own stomach. It hurts something horrible. I suck in a breathe.

"Unlike you, Mizu, I didn't sign up for a fight I knew I couldn't win. A non-bending fight at that! Why did you even choose Getsu? He's easily three times your size!" I've worked up the Earthbender now. I clenched my teeth as I tried to sit further up; Daichi, with an exasperated look, helps me.

"He won't hold back…because I'm a girl." Even though I told her not to, I allow Daichi to wrap my cracked rips and bandage my hands. She takes a deep breathe.

"I… I can't do this anymore, Mizu, dragging your broken body home every night. Not knowing if you're alive. Mizu, we need to get out of here." I scowl, I love my sister but she never seems to understand.

"And go where, Daichi? The Fire Nation? I know! What about the Air Temples?" Sarcasm is dripping. "Daichi, we can't go anywhere. This is no where to go." I close my eyes, not wanting to see her wounded expression, and lean back against the cot that we share.

"We could go the Fire Nation" It's so quiet, I can pretend I didn't hear it. I almost do.

"Are you insane, Daichi? We're as safe as we can get here in the Earth Kingdom. Even if we did, how would we even get the money? The fights? Neither of us has won in weeks."

I feel her lay down beside me and the light does off as she blows out the candle.

'I don't know, Mizu. I… I guess I could find a job…or something." She says, hesitant. My eyes fly open and I jerk my head towards her, pain shooting through my neck.

"No! No, Daichi, don't you even think of degrading yourself to….to being some whore-"

She stops me by laughing, but I can't see her face in the dark.

"I don't mean like that, Mizu, get out the gutter." She chuckles "I mean in one of the tea shops in the upper district. Do you think that they would hire me?" I lean back again.

"Oh, I don't know, probably, because you're so pretty." I grin in her direction. Daichi is very pretty with Earth Kingdom green eyes and spiky black hair and a smile to kill, she reminds me of our father. I on the other hand, look like my mother. I can almost feel Daichi's blush.

"Oh, hush, Mizu. Then they'd definitely hire you." I can't help it, I snort. Brown hair and Water Tribe blue eyes? Am I pretty? No.

"Goodnight, Daichi." I say and put my hands behind my head for a pillow, a painful pillow. Daichi curls into my side, careful not to hurt me further.

"Goodnight, Zuzu"

"Don't call me that"

She's already asleep.

_~8~_

Two weeks later and we are on a boat to the Fire Nation. I blame Daichi and Denana, the owner of the tea shop she found work in. When Daichi revealed to Denana her plans to go find a better life in the Fire Nation and her unwilling sister, Denana doubled her pay and offered me a job as well. Denana is a middle aged woman who knows her chance for a new life is long gone; reluctantly I took the job but refused the extra pay. Even with that I don't think we'll have enough for the second ferry that will take us from Ember Islands to the mainland.

I lean over the wooden railing and shoot a quick glance around, I don't know where Daichi is, but she can't be far. Once I'm certain no one is watching, I begin playing with the water. With delicate flicks of my hand the water jumps high and kisses the tips of my fingers before cascading back down.

"You shouldn't do that, bending, I mean" I freeze and glance over my shoulder, it's Daichi.

"mm-hm" I say and turn back to the water. Daichi leans over the railing.

"Seriously, Mizu. We're refugees; we can't be drawing attention to ourselves."

I snort.

"Yeah, Daichi, refugees from the Fire Nation hiding in the Fire Nation, we were safer in the Earth Kingdom!" She shakes her head.

"It's common, hide in the enemies' home. Besides, I hear their fight's are fairer than the Earth Kingdom's, you know the Fire Nation and their _honor._" Yeah, we know.

Within the hour, we can see the sliver of land on the horizon, Fire Nation soil, the Ember Islands.

***Major face palm* I did it again! Gah, another story when I already have too much to work on. But I like this idea so much I'll try my best to work on it, this and Dagger of the Night are now my top two priorities. Review please, chapter two will be held hostage! **

**~TearsOnTheRiver~**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."

~Wizard of Oz

Chapter Two: Fight the fight

Mizu

Daichi is very excited, she is buzzing and jumping. Yet, some how standing in the same place at the same time. This is how she wins her fights; she confuses her opponents, by making believe she is moving. If her element wasn't earth, she'd definitely be air. She says I'd be fire; I don't like that very much.

Even so, I can't help but grin at her excitement, and neither can others. I can see their smiles at my sister out the corner of my eyes. That bothers me; this is our moment, not theirs.

"Can you believe it, Mizu? The Fire Nation! We're almost there!" I give her a small laugh. This is of the moments when you can tell we are opposites. Not just our appearance separates us. Even after what happened, Daichi somehow learned to trust again, she amazingly learned to live again. I, on the other hand, no longer trusted life and sought death. Everything was ripped from my bleeding fingers. I saw life as just another way to die. No matter what I did, I couldn't bring myself to care anymore. Daichi. She's the only reason I'm here. I'm alive today because Daichi needed her sister.

The ferry pulls into port

_~8~_

The beaches are the first things I see, and they capture my attention for quite some time or at least until Daichi pulls me away saying that we don't have time and that we have to rush to the next ferry. She is glancing over her shoulder and her hand keeps hovering over our coin pouch.

"Come on, Daichi" I say, half-heartily annoyed. She pays me no mind and drags me through Ember Island and to out next port. We actually arrive early.

"See, Dai? We could've stayed and explored the beaches some." She smiles and rolls her eyes.

"Do we have enough for enough for the next ferry?" She asks and leans over the port's railing. She holds out the coin pouch to me and I take it. I count carefully. Then recount, twice.

"Daichi! We have more than enough, I thought for sure we wouldn't be able to take the second ferry and we'd have to work on the Island for a day or two." I can't believe that those coins, that surely weren't there earlier, were just some chance. I look up at Daichi, who's still looking out to sea.

"You didn't" I say, with a look mixed of pride and disappointment, a very odd combination. She grins at me and nods her spiky head.

"I did. We have to get Fire Nation clothes, you know?" We still wear the Earth Kingdom clothes. I know this isn't the reason she did it though, she's addicted to it, like a fish to water.

"Thief" I tell her and she shrugs. Daichi can seem like such a sweet, innocent girl when you first meet her. You'd think that she'd never know how to harm anything, but she's already gone through your pockets and emptied you before you know it.

Please, don't think any less of us; we do what we do to survive. We fight to survive, we steal to survive. I don't think that makes us thieves, just hungry, pained, orphans.

So, we wait. We talk, but I prefer the silence and Daichi knows it. We watch the gulls fly through the air and hear them craw and call out to each other.

"I wish," Daichi says, looking up at the birds. "that I could fly away sometimes, Mizu, leave this all far behind."

I take a deep breath, I know this is hard on her, and there's only so much one girl can do.

"We have to live with the hand we're dealt, fight the fight. Some win, some don't. Don't waste your time wishing on things that cannot be, that cannot happen. It won't change the past, Daichi, nothing we do will." It's something my father would've said, and I hate that. I know I've hurt Daichi because she drops her gaze from the sky. I open my mouth to tell her I'm sorry, but she's talking again.

"You're right. I'm being silly" she shoots me a sad grin, that I can't bring myself to return. I want to get her out of this mood; it doesn't suit her very well.

"Stop that, I'm supposed to be the dark brooding one" I say and cross my arms and scowl, trying to look dark and scary. It works, she laughs. Then, more people are coming to the dock as the ferry that will take us to the main land pulls into port. Daichi slips her fingers into mine, I give her a squeeze and she let's go.

We load with the other people; they're pushing and jostling us like a herd of koala-sheep. One boy in particular bumps heavily into me, making me stumble and fall against Daichi.

"Watch it!" I snarl at the frightened kid. His eyes widened at my anger before he wisely disappears into the crowd.

Daichi and I quickly find our place near the railing after paying for our board. The boat is crowded, more people than that that had ridden with us on the ferry here. I wonder about the crowd.

"Something must be happening on mainland" Daichi offers and I shrug, it's possible, but we won't ask. We don't need the attention. Near us, a young man talks to a older man excitedly. We can't help it; Daichi and I both lean their way. Still, I can only catch words.

"…missing…can…believe it?" The older man says something else and I move around Daichi to lean over the railing, and take a better position near them.

"Yes, sir! The very son himself, they don't why. Fire Lord Ozai doesn't seem very intent on looking for him" The man whispers something else and the boy wrings his hands together.

"No, they don't think he was taken or killed, just left. Run away, is what they said."

I've pieced it together now, and I move back to Daichi.

"What is it?" she asks, excitedly.

I shrug "The Fire Lord's son is missing." Her eyes widened. I don't know much about the Fire Lord's family, only that there's no mother, a brother and a sister and that the Prince is supposed to be heavily scarred on one side of his face.

"What? Was he kidnapped?" I shake my head.

"They don't think so, they just think he ran away" I pull up one shoulder then let it drop again. "Who can blame the kid, with a father like that?" Daichi's eyes glance around, but no one's paying us any attention.

"You can't talk like that, not here, Mizu. We aren't in the Earth Kingdom" In the Earth Kingdom, we were surrounded by other anti-Ozai supporters, but not here apparently. The man needs to be stopped; there have been rumors of a war for some time now. Who could stop him, with no Avatar?

We do not talk for the rest of the hour ride to the mainland. We both watch, though, as it comes into view. We watch as they lower to gates of fire, I shiver at the thought of being contained, we watch as we pull into port.

We watch the other passengers unload, not wanting to get caught in that crowd again, and we take our first steps on Fire Nation soil.

It takes everything in me, and Daichi hauling on my arm, not to turn around and get back on that boat. Or swim back to the Earth Kingdom.

**Short chapter sorry :) Please Review, the fights come next (they should, anyway)!**

**~TearsOnTheRiver~**


	3. Chapter 3

"The full value of this life can only be got by fighting; the violent take it by storm. And if we have accepted everything we have missed something-war. This life of ours is a very enjoyable fight, but a very miserably truce"

~Gilbert K. Chesterton

Chapter Three: Take it by Storm

_Mizu_

Daichi grips me by the upper arm, settling me like I am an uneasy ostrich-horse. We just move with the ocean of the crowd, the energy it would take to move against them is too much. This doesn't stop me from snarling at everyone who bumps me or Daichi, who is used to my outbursts and expertly ignores them.

"I can't help but wonder what the fights will be like" Daichi leans over to say loudly, I still can barely hear her over the thundering of feet and shouts.

"If they'll even let us fight" I tell her, and she shrugs.

"There are masked fights here, they won't know." I snort.

"You? A masked fight?" Daichi takes more pride in her wins than I do; she wants all her defeated to know they were beat by a female child. She's a definite ego crusher. She glares at me.

"If it's what's needed"

We break away from the crowd now and move down a street. This must be a poorer part of the town, it has to be. I want to live here; I will not dress myself up into some façade in the Higher District. Before we left, Denana told us that her cousin owned a tea shop here and that he would give us work if we told him that she had sent us.

It's called the Jasmine Dragon or something. I don't think it would be this part of the city, so we venture silently and warily in the Higher District.

After asking a street merchant, who gives a dirty glare at our Earth Kingdom clothes, we find the Jasmine Dragon. From the outside, it's a nice looking place that must attract a decent, and not only in number, crowd. We stand out the door, going inside means that we really are going to do this. We really are going to try to live in the Fire Nation.

"You ready?"

"Nope" There's not hesitation in her voice.

"Back entrance?"

"Never sounded so good"

So, this how when we met Denana's cousin, Daichi is half-way over the wooden alley blocker fence and I'm standing under her, ready to catch the clumsy girl. I hear an old laugh behind me and wheel around to see an old man with white hair and a huge tummy. There's a_thump _behind me and a muffled curse. Whoops. Daichi pulls herself up and scratches the back of her head as she looks at the old man.

"Are you Denana's cousin, who owns the Jasmine Dragon?" She asks, and the old man's face becomes concerned.

"I am. Is Denana okay?"

"She's fine." I say and his attention turns to me. "You see, we worked for her until we had enough money to come here. She wants to ask a favor that you'll give us jobs until we have enough to stand on our own two feet again" I explain and the man smiles.

"Of course! You can work at the Jasmine Dragon as long as you like, I really need the help. My nephew cannot find the time much anymore." His face becomes sadden, whoever this nephew is, this man cares for him a good deal.

"I'm Daichi, and this is my sister, Mizu" Daichi gestures to herself and then to me.

"I'm Iroh, you can call me Uncle if you'd like. I don't care" He says and holds out a bucket, that I hadn't realized he was holding, to Daichi.

"Fist order of business! Please go dump this with the old tea leaves." Daichi obeys, taking the bucket's handle. She immediately slumps down under its weight, though it hadn't even seemed to bother the old man…I mean, Iroh. Iroh gestures for me to follow him into the shop and I comply. He hands me an apron and sets me to stirring the tea and baking small sweets. When Daichi returns, she begins taking orders and help filling them. For such an old man, Iroh moves around the shop with quite ease and grace. I can't see much of Daichi or him, though. I've been banished to the kitchen, so I can't see the main shop. Just glimpses here and there.

"Do you have a place to stay?" Iroh asks me once the crowd starts to wind down. From the little window in the kitchen, where I stand now cleaning my last pot, I can see the sun setting. I shake my head.

"No, we just got here today."

"You're welcome to stay with me. I'm all by myself, well, my nephew shows up from time to time" there's that nephew again. I shake my head again and hang up the apron.

"No, no, you've done too much already. Daichi and I will find someplace. We aren't looking for hand outs." Iroh frowns, but shrugs.

"You're always welcome here" he says then I slip out the back door to where my sister is waiting. She looks at me oddly as we walk through the gate of the wooden fence, which Iroh pointed out to us.

"What?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"That man seems pretty nice, Mizu, it wouldn't hurt until we found a place, would it?" I shake my head. I can't help the fact that Daichi still doesn't understand that people can wear disguises so easily, even a kind old man can't be trusted

"_It's a common casualty to trust in what you see; saints and scars don't even bother. The bullet and the blood came from those you love"_

She just sighs.

_~8~_

It's dark now. And when the darkness encases the city in a lover's embrace, her children come out to play. I am not afraid, I can take care of myself and I know Daichi can do the same, it isn't the first time we've done this and it won't be the last.

First thing we do is get Fire Nation clothes. They'll never let us in the fights wearing Earth Kingdom garments. I don't like them, but I guess I'll adjust to the air on my stomach and shoulders. Daichi, on the other hand, loves the clothes and would happily buy more could we afford it.

After that, I decide to fight masked. Daichi, her pride wouldn't let her if she wanted to, decides to fight unmasked, but promises not to give out a true name. I already know who I will be. My mother was water tribe and though we never saw her much, she told us enough of the legends about spirits and demons. I will be the Painted Lady.

Daichi, after much thought, chooses to call herself 'Renegade'. The people who run the fights, in the Earth Kingdom we called them the officials, will accept the names. They don't care who you really are, just as long as you don't pull weapons and you put on a good show. I don't know if I want them to know I'm a waterbender. If I am to be masked, the risks can't be that bad, right? Here I am a drop of water surround on all sides by fire. Oh, La and Li, help me.

_~8~_

It takes barely any effort to find the fights. They advertise very well if you know how to look for the signs. The grubby gym basement is dark and crowded. I can hear drunken cheers and the sickening thump of flesh pounding into flesh.

Daichi is all eye and ears. She is jerking and moving and buzzing, without really taking a step. Her eyes dart, taking everything in. A quick way to get out, an easy opponent, you name it, Daichi has seen and catalogued it.

I am in the role of body guard. Get too close, to either to me or Daichi, and I'll snap. Either with sharp words or a strong fist, I'm impartial. We just observe and move with the crowd right now. We eavesdrop and pretend like we've been here a million times before.

We find out that this isn't where the fights usually are. They are supposed to be held in a large, abandoned arena near the sea. Until Guards started snooping around, everyone had been forced to flee and lay low. The fights began in the arena again tomorrow night, everyone's excited. Everyone's buzzed.

We find the betting table. A strong looking man sits behind it. I stand in front of the table and look down on the papers. Bet slip, bet slip, bloody bet slip, sign form. That's what we need. I move to take two of them then there's a heavy hand pushing the papers back down. I look up to the man, who wears a lazy grin.

"Now, what do you think you're doing" I raise an eyebrow and Daichi snorts beside me.

"Signing up" I say as slowly as he had asked his question. Now it's his turn to raise an eyebrow.

"No, you're not"

"Yes, we are" I say and yank on the papers, they don't budge.

"Listen, mister, this isn't our first fight" He laughs, without humor if that's possible.

"Now, _you_ listen here girlie-" I bristled, Daichi and I both do. If I were a Firebender I'd be spitting smoke and flame.

"Is there a problem here, Dazk?" Asks the voice of a nobleman, and I turn. My first thought is that this man doesn't belong here. No person dressed in nobleman robes paid for by nobleman money belongs here; this is not a noble sport. Then, I noticed the scars; the one of his chin from a ringed punch, the one where his shoulder meets his neck from an unexpected knife. There are more, I know. This man is one of the few that made it, he made fighting his career, and he was successful. He probably owns the ring and the entire business, I wouldn't be surprised. His dark green eyes are cunning, but they are hard as stone. Even with his noble clothes, his hair is uncontrolled, falling in his eyes, past his ears. He appears to be mid-twenties to his thirties. Way out of his prime, though I've seen many a good men fight until they just couldn't move no more.

The papers are released and I stuff them in my shirt before this Dazk or nobleman can take them away.

"No, sir, well, yes, sir. These girls" Out of the corner of my eye I see him gesture to me and my sister, "want to fight. It's dangerous enough when children want to fight, but _female _children, surely you won't approve, Mr. Aynor" Dazk addresses Aynor very different than he does us. This Aynor gives me the look over I gave him not a few seconds before, I hope he sees the scars and reads their meaning. He nods to Dazk, who grins triumphantly. Dazk turns to us, no doubt to tell us to get, when the noble speaks again.

"They can fight, I'll sponsor them if needed, Dazk"

Everyone in our group freezes, aside from Aynor of course, but the crowd continues to yell and push.

"What?" sputters Dazk, shooting me an angered look. It's my turn for a lazy, cocky grin.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Aynor!" Says Daichi with joy, but I don't notice. I'm still in a glare down with Dazk. Aynor smiles.

"Please, child, call me Aynor, just Aynor. 'Mister' makes me feel old" he winks at her and she laughs, in good company.

"You've fought before" It's not a question.

"Earth Kingdom" we say, almost at the same time. Aynor nods.

"If you haven't figured it out, I own most of the fights and fighters. Not all, but most. I'd be happy to add you; you see your friend Hutren notified me already of our coming. I've been waiting" Hutren was not our friend; he owned the Earth Kingdom fights. He was not a nice man, and no doubt gave a lengthy report on us. When Aynor says he owns the fighters, he means that he gets part of their winning in exchange for a place to sleep and their immediate needs. They didn't bother with contracts at the Earth Kingdom, I don't know about here.

"Contracts?" I ask we will not be sucked into one; we only fight for our selves. Aynor shakes his head.

"You may come and go as you want. You want to fight masked, that's fine too" I share a look with Daichi, this is a good deal. She shrugs, impassively, but to me the message is clear _take it. _And we do.

**Sorry! I haven't given up or anything, been worrying over 'The Shadow's Assassin' (Dagger of the Night) and trying to be quick in my re-writing. Thanks for reviews! No, I haven't given up this story, as I was asked. As for the meaning, you must continue to read! I hope the long chapter makes up for the wait.**

**~TearsOnTheRiver~**

**EDITS:fixed errors **


End file.
